I shared a post recently – When pressure sets in….. And a friend commented of how he likes the write up. But I also found something insightful which has inspired this writing.
Shout out to Malik!
He said, “‘I wonder why people compare their life with others’. ‘They think they should be able to do what others are doing, not knowing everyone has different ABILITIES’”.
Now, this is something that has happened to almost everybody at one point or the other.
I have friends who we finished secondary school together, some are married, some have travelled outside the country, some have business establishments; while some have a degree with masters in view.
There’s a particular friend of mine who own a fashion establishment. She actually learnt how to sew immediately she left secondary school and now she is a guru.
We happen to run our National Diploma program together in the same school. A very hardworking and industrious lady. She not only sews in school; she had good customers that she was getting a good sum from (as a student), plus she was having good grades too.
Each time I see a new dress she made, I always envy her and wished I had learnt something too. I remember telling her to teach me, but I always never had the time.
Yes I love fashion. But is that what I really want to do?
Well, because of what I was seeing my friend do, I started nurturing the desire to learn how to sew.
As if that was not enough; she got married and learnt catering. She is now like a full package right? I started thinking again [people are learning this and that, what are you busy doing?].
I added catering again to my wish list.
Have I learnt it? No.
The point here is: when you compare yourself with others
You tend to begin to envy.
You lose focus.
It steals your joy.
You end up pursuing other people’s dream.
It might even make you have a low self-esteem.
You can become a covetous and greedy person with a wrong ambition.
I finished with an excellent grade, but what if I started learning to sew at that time and I couldn’t keep up with school.
Because my friend was able to, does not mean I can.
And this takes us to…..
We all have different abilities. Some people are fast thinkers – leave them to strategize and develop solutions; then you will be amazed.
Some have eye for designs and colors – leave them to create any design and you will be wowed.
And so on….
I love to speak, write and sing – then I should be doing something in that line right?
Imagine me being a bead maker, sincerely I will be bored and miserable.
I have seen people who dropped out of school just to pursue their dreams – they knew what they loved and decided to stop deceiving themselves by pursuing a certificate they might end up not using. A lady once said, “She doesn’t understand one bit of her course of study in school, and if she continues to compare herself with her mates having good grades, then she would regret it”. She has a business of her own now and she is doing very fine.
Someone once asked me how I was able to combine church activities with school and still have a good grade. Well, I identified my reading ability and I sticked to it.
Though, there were times I would go somewhere to cry because my reading pals have covered the whole chapter of the textbook, and I’m still somewhere in chapter 2. But ever since I discovered my reading ability, I didn’t care anymore.
Discover your ability.
Know that because someone is excelling in their sphere doesn’t mean that is what you’re meant to be doing.
Don’t pursue other people’s dream – Find yours!
Never make people your standard. Learn from them, but create your own identity.
You are uniquely designed.
Don’t jump at every trend without asking questions.
Never let what others do get to you. If it does, then talk to yourself.
Be contented and grateful for what you have.
Focus on your strength.
Maureen, you know who you are and what you have been called to do.
Appreciate people’s invention and creativity; instead of envying and fueling an unnecessary desire that is out of bound for you.
Take advantage of confession….it works!
Just for jokes guys!
Should I continue writing, or I should quickly learn how to sew now?
I am serious o. I need your advice please.
It gives me so much pleasure to write to y’all –MY FAMILY!
Do share this with someone.