Life

On Self Confidence: 5 Things You Should Never Feel {Insecure} About.

Hi there! Feels good to be here again.

Even though Airtel tried to stop my shine: kept me offline for few days now, I have triumphed over them.

Anyway, I’m enjoying my new book -Talent is never enough by John C Maxwell.

So this is what happens when you visit Tirzah’s: you get inspired!

I know I titled this post “5 things you should never feel insecure about”, but I feel there are more than 5 things.

Alright, let’s get to it!

First on the list is:

YOUR BODY.

Gosh! I know a lot of people who feel insecure because of their body: from skin colour to physique, height, lips, nails, eyes, breast…I mean, a lot of these things. And I’ve been there too. I think I went that lane in 2016 and my teenage years.

Even though Seun asked me back then if I had any, which I said no cause I didn’t want to agree to the fact that I felt insecure about anything.

So, Seun, if you’re reading this, I just confessed.

What part of my body did I feel insecure about? They’re actually 3!

My Neck –  Yes, I said it. I can’t believe I’m shy right now. But I’m writing anyway.

So I remember my big Mummy would call me “Olorun gungun bi igo maggie”, which means “long neck like a maggie bottle”, and she said it all the time.

I was still very young right, so it didn’t pepper me as such. But I grew up with the long neck of course, skinny and tall; then my friends started making jest of my neck. Kai! It was really painful.

So it became a trade mark. A friend once told me he likes it, but in my heart I’d say he’s just trying to make me feel happy. Well, I don’t know how true that is, but I love my neck!

If you’re wondering why I love wearing turtle neck tops: it’s because of my neck. I wanted to hide that part of me; I realized it fits me and I loved it. That’s how turtle neck tops became my number 1 “must have” wears.

 

My Eyes: oh, this one is very recent! I didn’t even pay attention to that part of me until I started hearing people say “You have big eyes.”

My big mummy also called me (oloju rongondon), but I thought it was just a normal abuse until now that I know what it means. Especially now that I love “kajal”, which makes it pop the more. Well, big eyes or not, I love it.

Shout out to ladies with big eyes! I know some of you are smiling right now. Yeah, it’s who we are.

My physique: I mean! You should be glad if you had hips and big backside endowment right? No oh! I was ashamed. This particular one haunted me, seriously. I hated the fact that I can’t wear tight clothes and feel comfortable, or that a guy would look at me and address me as “sexy” (it drives me crazy!). I remember wearing big skirts and gown so no one would see my physique… It was that bad!

I hated walking past where a lot of guys were cause they’d be looking at my backside. I always felt very ashamed. But I feel comfortable in long free gowns. Then I realized it’s who I was, and I can’t change that.

Long neck or not, big eyes or not, big ass or not; I’m wonderfully and beautifully made! And so are you. Love yourself, just the way God created you. 

Second on the list is:

WHERE YOU LIVE.

Yeah, it can be quite embarrassing to bring your friends home if you stay in a one room apartment with your family. Especially when they all stay in big, fine houses, have a room to themselves. But who cares?

I use to care o. Often times, I shy away from inviting people to my house, because I felt like the environment is not fine, our room is small, bla bla. When I eventually summon the courage to invite anyone over, I’d tell the person on phone that “my house is not fine o, our place is small”, so he or she won’t feel disappointed when they get to my house. That’s crazy! I know!

But that’s how I use to feel, until I talked some sense into my head.

Where you live doesn’t have to define you. You shouldn’t even look where you live. Step out with confidence, like you live in a castle. 

Number 3:

THE INSTITUTION YOU ATTENDED/YOU CURRENTLY ARE.

I know there’s a lot of discrimination about whether or not you get a degree (Bsc.), go to a polytechnic or college of education. But the situation of the country and circumstances leave many with not so many choices. Amidst all that, should our confidence come from that? Or does life depend on that?

It is important to have attended the best school, get an excellent grade, which position you for greater opportunities, but whichever school you find/found yourself in, I believe what’s important is the value you invest in yourself beyond those classrooms. 

If everyone is to be defined by whatever school they attended, or that success depends on the school you attended, then only few people will be successful.

I wanted direct entry so bad after my OND, but it didn’t happen for a reason. I think I’d share that too later.

Nonetheless, I know I’m so much more than whatever I’m currently studying, whatever result I come out with or certificate.

A polytechnic didn’t stop me from studying hard, having distinction ND level – which I’m currently not doing bad too. Glory to God!

I went for a conference, and the lady beside me asked, “Where do you school?” I answered, “Moshood Abiola Polytechnic” and my heart skipped a little (thinking should I have said that?). Then she said Yabatech, and in my heart I was angry at myself (for doubting my response). Believe it or not, that’s a little play of insecurity. Even if she has said “Covenant University” it shouldn’t make me feel any better or less.

You are more than the institution you attended, the result you had. Your disposition to how valuable you are is very important!

And the fourth:

YOUR PROFESSION/JOB/WORKPLACE.

You should be very proud of where you work, the work you do; be it an entrepreneur. Say for instance, you’re in the midst of your friends who work in banks and tech companies, and everyone is introducing themselves as HR this, Analyst that, Consultant those, Legal practioner them, lol. You may seem a little insecure to say that you’re a teacher or mechanic or whatever.

But all these things are English o. I believe how you’ve packaged and esteemed yourself will give a lasting impression, and it also depends on how convincing you sound.

Imagine some people who have not even done excellent clothes calling themselves fashion designers. Are they not?

So instead of saying I’m a mechanic, I’d tell them I’m into Auto mobile and mechanical repairs?  Yes, a mechanic should be able to give information about car purchase and all of that.

Anyway, I’m not a mechanic, it’s only an example and it’s not my line of interest. Lol.

But my point is: insecurity will only come when you’re not proud of what you do, and when you can’t sell and convince people about what you do.

There’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed about.

If everybody becomes a (CEO. or MD.) of banks, who will tie our aso ebi gele, or cook the party food, or plan events, build exotic cars, prescribe drugs when we’re sick?

Love what you do, do what you love. Package yourself well! 

Lastly:

YOUR PARENT(S)

Now this is a very sensitive one.

So how can someone feel insecure about his or her parent?

Well, if you have friends whose parents speak good english or went to good schools, then chance that you won’t be proud of your dad or mum who speaks only native language will be high.

I’ve been there. (Gosh! This blog is making me say a lot of things o.)

So, there was a time I use to feel like I wish my mum could speak “Very Good English” (just like my dad), I’d be scared that “What if she’s been summoned to give a speech or say something at a formal event we both attend?”

But then I realized how amazing this woman is, and how she’s doing everything in her capacity to make me happy. And to think that kind of thought crossed my mind at all – (I should be spanked for it.) That was then anyway! I should still be spanked.

I love my dad and mum. I couldn’t have asked for a better parent. My mum possess some amazing character that I’m still praying to God for.

That’s my own story, but I know those youthful exuberant that makes young people feel they’re now better than their parent, and they begin to hate their parents’ for their shortcomings.

Crave to be a better parent, but never hate your parent for the life you wish they could have given to you. Instead, love and appreciate them! Make them proud! 

This is a lesson I will one day teach my children. You should too.

I want to say more, but I’d just stop here for today. I’m still here and I ain’t going nowhere.

Love you guys,

Maureen.

 

PS: Sharing is caring: comment, share, like. I’d love to hear from you. Also, when will you be featured here on the blog? Cause you’ve been reading for a while now. So, why don’t you get in touch with me. I’m expecting that.

PPS: We will be have a lot of interviews, campaign and collaborations this year. So be part of it. Do you have an amazing story to share? Get in touch with me!

12 thoughts on “On Self Confidence: 5 Things You Should Never Feel {Insecure} About.”

  1. Nice write-up Maureen!
    I do feel insecure about so many things especially my stature, the baby face thing and all that. Having read this post I choose to change that mindset asap.. Thanks Maureen for sharing this.
    More to come..
    I celebrate you..

  2. I couldn’t help but laugh through this great write-up. This is amazing. I used to be very insecure too and realized as I grow that God never make mistakes. I had once queried God about so many things(family, my small body, baby face, etc) but then I realized that I am the most blessed person on earth, I call it immortality or ageless look(the reason I’m His image)lol. Also, God uses the foolish things of this world to put to shame the wise (always the foolish things). I am always grateful today that I have a wonderful family, a nice portable body, beautiful face and all. If God doesn’t make me to suit the phases of my life, I may not live this long. Probably my stature is the best look that scares the storms away😃.
    I really wanted to say more but I’m a short typer (I hope you understand) lol. Thanks Maureen!

  3. Hmmmm.. very insightful and thought taking.. tanx so much.. see u on top already. keep it up and u become limitless in life.. For listeners and readers, there are more to what you know,keep updated here

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