Life

On Failure Being An Option – Here Is Why

Why failure right?

Yeah, it’s very scary.

Someone like me who likes Jesus would probably say “I reject it in Jesus name, it’s not my portion.”

Some of us grew up in a society that has always taught us that you should never fail, you must get it right, it is A’s or nothing.

Nobody enjoys failing. Or do you?

It feels so good to never fail at anything, but how true is this phenomenon?

Is it possible to not fail at anything?

Yeah, it’s good to be told all of that, but why aren’t we told that it can happen?

Because when children grow up with this mentality, having everything on a platter of gold and eventually fail just one time, we hear something like:

I feel like dying.

I’m such a waste.

I’m nothing but a mistake.

I’m ruined….

So I grew up in a family house with a “big daddy” (he’s my uncle but we all call him big daddy cause he catered for everyone – both close and extended relatives).

He really is a disciplinarian.

My routine was from school to the house and once I get home, I shower, eat and head for a place in the compound we call “palace”.

Palace is filled with chairs and tables and some fine sculptures staring at you all day.

What I do there is to read till my big daddy goes out in the evening.

I’d read, sleep, cry and do all sort there. I really can’t sneak out because he has windows directly facing the palace. So anywhere he is, he could actually see me from there.

His expectation is that I must come first at everything in school.

Well, from nursery to primary school, I always came first, especially English Language. There were times I dropped to like second and third overall, but even my teachers knew I mustn’t go below that.

And my big daddy keeps record of all these (I saw my nursery one result the last time I was at the family house).

I was surprised!

Don’t worry, I’m going somewhere – just stay with me.

So it was time to get into secondary school.

I did common entrance and I chose Queens College and Eko Akete Grammar School.

Eventually, I didn’t go to Queens College, I went to the other one which happen to be a public school.

This was a huge transit for me because I was coming from a class of about 20 pupils to a school that has 120 pupils in a classroom (that’s just A class anyway).

Jss1 alone had A to I.

Long story short.

First semester, I came 10th out of 120.

Geez! I was dying in school before I even got home cause my big daddy would beat hell out of me.

Well I wasn’t wrong. He did beat hell out of me.

Someone said “you tried now”, but my big daddy said “the child that came 1st has the same brain as mine so why didn’t I come first?”

With all the reading and no friend life. I still failed to meet up expectation.

Well, I also failed English Language in my first WAEC, despite being so good at English from my primary school days.

My dad was so mad that he told me to write an essay right in front of him, which I did. Then he said, “why did you fail English then if you could write this?”

I also don’t know.

Tertiary institution:

My friends will be hailing me that they know I would smash my English exams. Eventually when result comes out, I would see a C or BC

My goodness! Really?

There was a semester that I even had D and I was so frustrated.

Like what exactly is the problem?

Is it that I think I know this thing but I don’t?

Or am I putting little or no effort?

Well, the next semester I had A after I determined I was going to read differently and write like my life depends on it.

Then I also realized is not just about speaking good English but knowing the principles that guides them.

What’s the moral of this story?

  • That you’re not going to fail at all is a big lie.
  • When you fail, you learn ways to do things differently.
  • Failure sometimes gives you credibility to teach others. Imagine if you’re speaking to an audience of bunch of failures and you’ve never failed at anything. What would you say to them?
  • Failure is not an excuse to giving up. It should be a motivation.

I know someone out there needs this.

So please don’t see failure as something bad rather, see it as a means to be better, a drive to smash your failed goals.

Don’t be afraid to fail. I’d rather fail than never try.

Not trying is scarier than failing.

I was expecting a distinction in my previous semester, but I had upper credit. That is my motivation to study harder.

I have a lot to share but I’d stop here.

Just know that some circumstances happen to us in life that is not in line with what we planned, or how we want our lives to go.

This shouldn’t stop you from pushing hard.

Be quick to adjust and get over the mess – start all over.

Love you guys!

Maureen.

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