Sometimes it’s very easy to say we’ve forgiven ourselves or people who hurt us with our mouth than we actually do with our heart.
I remember being betrayed and back stabbed by some set of people I didn’t expect and I thought I had forgiven them only to find myself explaining to someone later about the issue and each time I talked about it, I still felt that hurt and betrayal.
As a matter of fact, I created this blockage in my mind never to trust them completely especially with personal issues.
Another scenario was about someone who gossiped me with someone else about an issue she could have asked from me directly cause I believed we were close, instead she went ahead to discuss with an outsider and that same outsider she spoke to about me came asking me questions about the whole matter which I appreciated and I explained myself.
Isn’t it hilarious?
No, it wasn’t cause I was so angry and pained. I wanted to act rashly. Each time I saw her, I would feel like pouring out my anger and calling her names due to what she did.
I even tried to withdraw from her but the hurt was eating me up deeply that I had no choice than to buy her stuffs and show her some love just to make sure I wasn’t keeping her in my mind anymore.
Was the relationship affected? Yes.
Do I still want to punch her in the face for what she did? No, cause it’s no longer an issue.
I forgave her!
Have you ever been misunderstood and stereotyped for something you did not do or say?
This has happened to me so many times and I’d feel like giving someone a very hot slap, sit them down and explain myself to be understood with all the English I can ever express myself with.
It happened to me one time in the midst of some group of people and they started talking plenty, right there I was standing in the middle and I felt like shouting (shut up and hear me out).
And yeah, I picked it out on the lady that felt she could talk the most and I walked out. I was just hissing as I headed back home. Each time I remembered the scene I would hiss and hate the girl the more.
But I had to just let go of it and act like nothing even transpired between us because I realized the person I’m trying to hate does not even know she did anything wrong.
Can you imagine?
I’d rather forgive than carry the weight of anger in my heart. I need to breathe fresh air biko.
I could go on and on about hurt and betrayal that has turned so many people into sad and sorry beings.
I mean, hatred can literally make you become an angry and frustrated human being.
Yours might be refusing to forgive your ex for that dysfunctional relationship you experienced.
Or even refusing to forgive yourself for doing something unexpectedly wrong. Especially my people who are perfectionist.
Okay, let’s do something.
Get a pen and a piece of paper, list out the people you’re angry at for hurting you.
Write out what they did to you.
It is possible you’re wrongly accusing people for hurting you without even knowing what they did in the actual sense.
Now think about how your relationship with that person has been affected negatively from the time you’ve been angry at them till now.
Next thing is to think about what you’d have benefitted from those people you’ve probably been keeping malice with if you were in talking terms with them.
Done? Okay, fine.
From all of these things we’ve written, both on paper or our imaginations, we can deduce the following:
- Forgiveness allows you to have a fresh start. Either you’re forgiving yourself of the plans you failed to achieve and start all over, or you’re forgiving someone who failed to deliver according to the expectations you had for them, allowing them to prove they’re actually not bad after all.
- Forgiveness helps you heal from heartbreak and betrayal. There’s this huge relieve you get once you’ve totally forgiven someone. It’s like taking in a breathe of fresh air.
- Forgiveness helps you move on and teaches how you should focus on you rather than people. When we expect so much from people we tend to find ourselves heartbroken because people would not always meet your expectations. And this is only a proof that you’re focusing on what someone can do, say or be to you rather than looking to yourself and becoming a better person.
- It helps you generate positive energy. I’m not sure one can be truly happy when holding grudge. I don’t know about you but my heart pound fast especially when I see the person I’m not happy with. I’d feel like entering the ground and escaping even when I did nothing wrong, and I’m the one who needs to receive an apology.
- Forgiving gives you the capacity to love again. Imagine someone who has suffered from a bad relationship and is being stigmatized due to that experience. Learning to forgive and leave the past in the past would mean – opening your heart to love and trust again. Because the truth is you can’t allow your experience of your previous relationship stop you from finding happiness or true love.
- Forgiveness is a motivation for success. Instead of holding someone in your heart, why not forgive and have a good reason to succeed, a reason to prove them wrong and not living miserably because of a hurt from the past.
I wish you can just see my heart and understand this message I’m trying to pass. Cause I’ve been down this road and it doesn’t look funny at all.
Holding on to the past and refusing to forgive is like poison to the soul.
It can literally eat your weight up and people will think you’re dieting, unknowing to them its a negative burden you’re holding on to.
And yes, I’ve been there too.
We don’t want to be in 2019 being that same person.
But I promise you one thing, that if you’d just let go, you’d see you have become a better person and your life is filled with so much joy and laughter.
I want to see you smile everyday. It’s very healthy.
So let go of that hurt and let’s go take over territories and spheres, impact our world and do great stuffs.
Don’t I just love you?
Yes I writing you,
PS: Tell me something you’ve not let go and is still a burden in the comments section or reach me via my social media platforms.
Complements of the season!!!