Finding it hard to pull out?


Anyone home?

My play is getting too much these days.

I have one serious gist for you today.

Ready for it? Come on, you’ve got to talk back to me. Ready or not?

Okay I  hear you.

It’s not a news for some of you who have been following Zoe blog that I just have this thing for being independent .  Not for pride but I just can’t help it.

Well I’m aware that some people can’t pull out of a relationship because they feel they are benefiting so much and that their life depends on their partner even at the detriment of their happiness.

I’m sorry darling but that’s enough reason for you to quickly move.

Every relationship that makes you feel incapacitated is not healthy.

It’s not a one sided thing – it never is!

As a matter of fact, your confidence should not and never come from your partner such that you begin to look down on yourself that you can’t survive without them.

I was once in a relationship and yes, he was very caring. I mean very caring!

Virtually almost all my needs were met. He doesn’t have so much but the little he has he gives just to make me happy. And yes I was happy.

You’d be asking why it’s in the past?

Well things weren’t working anymore and I could no longer lie to myself.

Although I was holding on trusting everything will be fine  (for 3 years, 9 months)  and that the longer I could endure, the better we’d understand each other but thank God for opening my eyes to the fact that you can’t manage a relationship except you want to spend the rest of your life pretending and living your whole life in a box faking happiness.

I’m sure you don’t want that.

It’s better to make that mistake now so that your future can thank you for it later.

Though I’ve never thought I would have any fear breaking up cause separating from him was not an option.

You know that (we’re meant for each other, God brought us together thing). I’m not disputing that but a lot can happen within a short time and what you thought you knew and had faith in slips through your finger and you begin to wonder:

I thought….

But he is….

What’s wrong?

Baby nothing is wrong, he simply wasn’t meant for you.

I told a friend recently about it and she couldn’t believe her ears.

My relationship was like a model to her. You’d never for once have thought we wouldn’t get married.

But…. Life happens!

So like I was saying…. The moment I was sure I couldn’t deceive myself anymore, I started worrying if I was going to ever cope without him.

Now that’s a problem right there!

Yes, there ought to be an exchange of benefit in relationships but to think that your life or success depends on it, or that you can’t amount to anything outside the relationship – that’s an error.

The existence of such mentality in the mind of so many makes them want to be in a relationship so badly.

Chance that you’d settle for less is high.

Some people even get married because they believe the man or the woman is their stepping stone.

I’m not disputing the place of influence but I recall the Bible saying “he that finds a wife” meaning that you’re already an embodiment of value, you have a sense of direction even before the man finds you.

And to the man – you’re first a man who needs an “help meet” not a burden bearer.

A man with self worth, established in purpose saddled with the responsibility of being the head with authority – anything less than that is an abuse.

What’s the moral of this my story?

  • Your life does not depend on that relationship, especially when it’s draining you.
  • Never fake happiness or try to manage what obviously isn’t working.
  • You deserve to be happy, so if your happiness require you pulling out of that relationship – please do it quickly.
  • Don’t be a burden, rather be a blessing.
  • Work on yourself, place value on yourself.
  • Ensure you’re giving something in any relationship you find yourself. By any relationship I mean friendship inclusive. No matter how little – give your input.
  •  Don’t place your confidence and self validation in any relationship.
  • Know that you’ve been awesomely created so you have to make God proud by placing a demand on your self identity.
  • Whatever is yours will be yours.
  • Stop holding on too long when God is trying to move you.
  • Every wrong relationship blinds you of another (a better one).

I want to say a lot but I’d just hang my boot here.

Plus Zoe blog is taking a new shape from what you’ve been used to.

No insecurity, no holding back. I’m going to share everything and anything you need to know.

Let’s assume we were getting ready for the journey – now let the journey begin for real!

It’s amazing how I’ve become an expressive and open person and this only happened because  you guys have allowed me to pour my heart here.

You kept on coming back to read –  you’re so amazing.

Thank you guys!

I have a family here, you don’t know how much that means to me.

Love you so much,


PS: Don’t forget to comment and share. You should get this post by mail if you had subscribed. Kindly do so if you haven’t. It’s that simple guys.



    SO TRUE…”A man with self worth, established in purpose saddled with the responsibility of being the head with authority – anything less than that is an abuse.”

  2. Opeyemi

    Great piece of information thanks Maureen..

  3. Micheal Ebilakun

    awespiringly syntilating….great piece

    1. Maureen Oseji

      Thank you Mr Micheal!
      It’s such a honour to have you here.

  4. Favour

    You killed it again. awesome read.

  5. tuakins

    nice one.
    its a lesson

    1. Maureen Oseji

      Thank you Tuakins.
      I’m glad you learnt something.

  6. Amos

    Great write up. I personally think the problem is, we put too much “spirituality” in this relationship thing, if you aint compatible with someone physically, I dont know if “spirituality” can create that chemistry or compatibility. I really don’t know

    1. Maureen Oseji

      Thank you Amos.
      Well you my dear might just have given me another topic of discussion.
      I can feel your concern from here, that’s how it feels when people refuse to understand some things.
      I know we’re coming to that stage where we just need to look beyond what we already know for what we can learn.

  7. Bcutey

    Yes I got to learn that too after some time….. and I really wish I can turn back the hands of the time. Nice write up you have there love

    1. Maureen Oseji

      Thank you Abosede.
      You know we’ve at some point made some mistakes that has made us a better and well informed person.
      So thank God for those experiences because better lies ahead of us.
      I appreciate your contributions.

  8. Michael King

    Thank you Maureen.

    This part got me.
    A man with self worth, established in purpose saddled with the responsibility of being the head with authority – anything less than that is an abuse…

    1. Maureen Oseji

      That’s awesome!
      Thank you Michael, I celebrate you.

  9. Racheal

    seriously……people go along with a relationship that is more detriment to them….I think I love this.
    75% of what most single ladies are facing in d world of today is relationship issues.
    Could also say I’m a living example.

    1. Maureen Oseji

      I understand you perfectly well Rachel.
      I believe a change has come.
      We must refuse to be ignorant.
      Whatever it is you’ve gone through should be a lesson and a message.
      Thanks for stopping by.

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