What Does It Cost To Be Transparent? & 2 Lessons from Tirzah’s Story.

Hi Family!

How is Sunday going?

Hope you are Kinging? ( lol…like kinging & queening!).

A friend has yet again inspired this post.

I was close to tearing up when writing this.  After reading Tirzah’s recent post, she got me really humbled with what she shared.

I’ve always told her she is an inspiration. Her ability to share her past to teach people is amazing!

And I have realized where I needed to grow.

Don’t ever think you have fully grown, because you haven’t. Life still has many lessons to teach you, so keep learning them as they come, pay attention to every detail.

As a change activist, like I always say – keep learning from everything you go through in life, don’t be scared to experience something new or make mistakes. They are there to grow you.

Hmmmm…where do I start from.

After reading her post, I found out there is something I’ve been struggling with which I just paid attention to lately. Most of you might think it is not a bad thing but I know it is and it’s not helping me in any way.

I can be very diplomatic, yes, diplomatic.

I let you know exactly what I want you to know.

I keep secret a lot!

I don’t really like people invading my space; only if I let them. And this led me to lying to cover things up or not talking at all. When I eventually lie, I lose my peace, my heart gets really heavy. Then I began to wonder, why lie in the first place? Will the person kill you? Or if I tell the truth about what I’m going through, is it not my life after all?

You can ask me a question and I will give you the right answer without actually telling you the whole truth.

I wouldn’t blame anyone for this but as a result of my growing up and the way I was raised, I hardly share things with people. And being the only child, not having intimacy with my parent, I just keep everything I was going through to myself.

I remember when I told someone I was starting a blog and he said, “hope you know you are about to put your whole life on the internet”? I answered yes because I was tired of bearing my burdens alone, having no one to talk to or even share my experiences with.

I was tired of being looked at as perfect!

I have my struggles, I have pains, and I have ugly stories.

And I am not ashamed to share them anymore. You know why?

Because I am growing, I am no longer in the past, I am now in the present.

I can see changes. Moreover, I want to help someone out there not to make the same mistake that I’ve made.

I want someone who has made mistakes and still struggling know that they can come out of it.

This was what birthed the upcoming campaign (#IAMSTRONG).

Here are 2 important lessons I learnt:

  • Transparency – What does it cost one to be transparent (to be open)? When you’re not transparent, you give people a false impression about who you are. People would say you are “perfect”. I’m beginning to dislike that {perfect} word I’m sorry. You mean to tell me that there is not a single thing that is not so right about you? It’s just not realistic! When you are transparent, people will be less judgmental of you. In fact, I don’t even care of people’s judgment. That was in the past.

Yes, I always thought about what people would say about my actions and I just wouldn’t do things I wanted all in the name of people’s opinion. I would be careful with what I wear, say, listen to, up to the extent of my makeup.

I’m not saying you should dress anyhow. Modesty is very key! But when you begin to think about what people would say before you do these things then there’s a problem. If you are modest in your lifestyle there won’t be need for the opinion of people. So, check it!

  • Truthfulness – What does it cost to say the truth and not be ashamed of whatever struggle you’ve been through? Be true to yourself Maureen and whoever is reading! You have struggles, you need help sometimes. Yes, accept it. Don’t let people pick your faults, find them yourself and work on it. Why would someone outside tell me I keep secrets a lot without me knowing I do. My response would be: Thank you, but I know this and I am definitely working on it. Instead of refusing bluntly that you don’t have such weakness, identify it and ask for help. It’s amazing how some people are ignorant of their weakness and they claim to be ‘Mr. or Mrs. Perfect’. In the real sense of it, it’s not like you are ignorant, you just don’t like to accept it. Please my friend…..have a change of heart. Someone told me, “A weakness you know you have is no longer a weakness” because you are aware and would be more conscious except you are not being true to yourself.

As a matter of fact, I’ve learnt keeping a lot of secret will only make you burdensome. I am not saying tell everybody about you. But a problem shared is a problem half solved. Of course you should have a confidant, someone you trust and that can help you (a mentor, friend or spiritual cover).

Note: My emphasis of keeping secret is on weaknesses and issues that you know you really can’t solve on your own.

 Also, there is a thin line between these two: “Transparency and Truthfulness” you can be open and not honest.

So guys, this is just a heart pour post. Hope you are getting ready for the campaign?

Let’s just all learn and live a very healthy, honest, fun filled and fulfilling lifestyle.

So much love I have for you,

Till later.


Ps: You have been reading these posts. Aren’t you such an amazing person? Yes, you are! Now don’t forget to share.

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3 thoughts on “What Does It Cost To Be Transparent? & 2 Lessons from Tirzah’s Story.”

  1. God bless your heart dear! We are not perfect…the best we can ever be is what we are already in Christ – that is, being perfected in Christ! Imperfect people being perfected…that’s who we are! Thanks for your expression – it made my morning!

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